Over the years, I’ve become somewhat of a life coach to the
people around me. I’m not sure how it happened, but I don’t mind the unofficial
title. Inspiring others is my true passion.
And although most people come to me for advice and my
opinion, others come to me just for my ear. Have you ever found yourself
offering advice to your strong friend, only to end up in a fight at the end?
Crazy, right? But here’s the thing, while some people do what your take on a
situation others just want you to listen. And it’s your duty as a healer to
know the difference.
Believe me, I know it can be hard not preventing your adult
daughter from making a mistake. But remember that she came to you in confidence
and you don’t want to lose that. What you can do is drive the conversation
towards a more positive path. For instance, instead of telling her what to do,
ask her thought-provoking questions that will help her look inward. With the
right questions, she’ll most probably find the right answer without you having
to spell it out to her. And if she doesn’t come to that conclusion by the end
of your conversation, she’ll most probably sit on it for a few days and then
have her “aha!” moment.
Being a good listener is a true skill. It takes patience and
trust with yourself. But if you can gain the title of a good listener, you’re
more likely to do more good than you would have done being the advice giver. Plus
giving advice can truly drain you. And what’s the point of draining your energy
if that person doesn’t even want to know your say? Save that energy for
something more important.
You don’t always have fix people. There’s no better
satisfaction than being able to fix oneself. So this holiday season give your
family friends the opportunity to talk it out with you. Lend them an ear and
you’ll see they’ll find the answer in their own time.
xoxo,
Loren
