Guest Blogger: Tamisha Ford | tamishaford.com
I have to start by saying this – just because you claim introversion or extroversion doesn’t mean that is the totality of who you are. You’ve likely heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (the MBTI) or the Enneagram, but even these tests can’t narrow in on the complexity of who you are. They’re exactly that – indicators of why we might behave the way we do or have the worldviews we have. It doesn’t mean either is better than the other, or that we are “telling ourselves a story” about who we are and using it as a crutch to go through life.
These are all arguments I’ve heard when someone simply says “I’m an introvert.” There’s nothing wrong with us knowing more and more about ourselves, and in fact, it can be one of the most liberating and beautiful parts of life – to learn about how you are wired. With that, I encourage you to take the two tests above, and start learning more about why you might behave the way you do, make the decisions you make, or see things the way you do. They can also give you slight clues as to which one you are – an extrovert or introvert, so you can start making better decisions in your environments. Don’t make any assumptions – you might be surprised what you find!
Here are 7 Signs You Might Be an Introvert
1. You are energized by time alone. Doesn’t mean you don’t like people, and doesn’t even mean you don’t socialize. But you love your time alone, and likely need about 1-2 hours of it a day at the least. You might enjoy your evenings alone or need to get away mid-day to re-charge & re-group (preferably alone or with only one other person of your preference).
2. You don’t like being exposed or called out by others publicly. Introverts hate this. Usually, an extrovert can brush it off, or forget about it, whereas an introvert will stew over it & think about it for days. They see it as a huge violation of their privacy or emotions. They were just exposed without their permission, and they see that as demeaning and threatening.
3. You find it hard to self-express. This usually looks like you having thousands of thoughts in your head at any given time – great ideas in the meeting, or suggestions for your team – but really struggling to put it into words and let someone know.
4. You hate small talk. You don’t hate people – you don’t hate talking. You likely just get pretty annoyed by small talk, such as on elevators (awkward), meeting someone new (which is why many introverts don’t like networking), and catching up w/ someone you haven’t seen in a long time (which is why you keep your circles tight). These are all avenues where small talk shows up. Introverts prefer deep conversations to basic conversational pleasantries like “how is the weather?” They prefer convos around strategy, psychology, deep relational talks, or spiritual, political, or economical philosophy.
5. You are extremely introspective & intuitive. Introverts are very astute to their inner thoughts, dialogue, and emotions. They are typically emotionally healthy, although some are not. Some get way too caught up in their thoughts to the point of downing themselves or thinking they’re worthless. Most introverts however, are very stimulated by what goes on in their mind – the observations, assimilations, and thought processes they go through on a daily basis. Sometimes it can come across to others around you as “your world is boring, and mine is much more interesting”, but that’s usually not what they’re trying to convey. They’re just very stimulated by their inner world.
6. You might be seen as judgmental. Because your spiritual and inner world is typically deep & introspective and always growing, some people might see you as “haughty” or arrogant, when really, you just like to share the growth & evolution that’s going on inside you, what you’re reading, or how you process. You might struggle expressing it in a non-judgmental way, but it doesn’t mean you are classified as “judgmental.”
7. You like to socialize in doses. This sort of goes with #1, but it’s a bit different. Introverts tend to take a lot in at once and process quickly and deeply, so social gatherings are usually able to stimulate them for so long before they’re ready to just return home & throw on their pj’s. If this is you, you might find yourself irritable if you get caught up somewhere way longer than you expected or wanted (like if you rode with a group and have no way to get home, which is a huge no-no for introverts). If this happens to you, you might need a week just to recover, where all you want to do is go to work and go home for the day or sleep & rest the entire next day because you’re drained & exhausted.
Did you take one or both of the free tests above? Are you classified as an introvert? Share a situation that has happened to you that could easily fall into one of the above categories – I’d love to hear your experiences.
Also, if you’re interested, I’ve created a Pinterest board for introverts – to really ascribe a visual of your world. I’d love to have you over there. I’ve got introvert authors Susan Cain (Quiet) & Sophia Dembling (The Introvert’s Way) as contributors to the board as well.
