Guest Blogger: Tamisha Ford | tamishaford.com + the introvert effect
It used to be before Twitter and Facebook, and before ‘social’ and ‘tech’ went to the next level, we felt validated by what we knew in our hearts about our gifts, our work and what we could give to the world – what we owned, earned & invested in. We relied mostly on that – the intuition, the inner knowing – and we were validated in our ideas privately. Really whether social meant to or not, it has changed this dramatically for many people in that, it just brought a new variable to the table and almost a new stimulus that triggers people to now ask for social validation where private validation used to be sufficient. We can send out one tweet to find out if 300 or 3,000 people like our new car. For many people, it has also become our primary source of assertion of our ideas, our work, our visions and our business. “Do you think this is a good idea”? we ask.
Which is Better? Private or Social Approval?
The generation coming up that have only known Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter and Google Plus, look more to social confirmation than those of us who remember a time where social and tech wasn’t as advanced, and we had to find it elsewhere. We didn’t feel some unexplainable need to tweet out a photo to see if we should wear a dress to the party we were attending – we didn’t know the feeling because it didn’t exist yet. We only knew what we knew at the time. Some still use that knowledge of a time when social had a different status.
That knowledge allows those who do remember, to create a healthy boundary and a healthy expectation of what social proof means in our daily lives now. We still draw on that private validation, our inner knowing, and our pre-existing condition of confidence to affirm what we know to be true about ourselves, but we have new positive ways we can reinforce it.
I think it’s important for those who understand this balance and how to navigate the social landscape of private vs. public pronouncement, to teach those who are younger and may not understand the value. Then, we can invest time in reshaping social for the younger generation when it comes to validation and let them know that the technological advancements that are happening, and will continue to happen, exist to enhance their ideas, outfits, decisions, etc. – not make or break them.
So then social and the technological advancement becomes a tool to test, reshape, mold and ultimately modify our ideas and less a tool for us to authorize the work we want to do or who we want to work with. If you know where to look and venture to the right places, you will find someone to attach to your idea or business (and love it). It will be less about verification of you or your talents and more about collaboration with the ideas and business of others. And not just anyone – the right people. The people you choose and who, in turn, choose you.
