Just the other day I celebrated my birthday. Birthdays mean different things to us during various stages of our lives. The weeks prior to the day of celebration, many family members and friends began to question me about my level of excitement with regards to turning a year older. Of course I told them that I was excited, but to be quite honest, I really did not know what I was to get excited about or how I should feel. Let me explain.
For the past two years, I had experienced life changing events one right after another. It felt as though everyday I was either loosing something or something was being taken away from me.I experienced heartbreak from a marriage. I was forced to move from my home to live with a family member due to a divorce. I became financially depleted living from check to check, paying bills to free myself from accumulated debt. Mentally I could not tell the sun from the rain. Emotionally, it felt as though I was in a never-ending war. Each day, new attacks were launched on me and I either had to fight or surrender to defeat. I will tell you that there were times that I prayed that I would be released from my hell. Needless to say, every morning my eyes would open and I would push through my tears, my “I don’t want to’s,” my emotional temper tantrums, and the questioning of when things were going to change. I even tried to think positive to attract positive things. I tried to hold to my faith knowing that it produces character and strength. But what do you do when you try to think positive but the million thoughts in your mind are focused on what you don’t have and what you need? What do you do when all you have is your faith and that seems to not be enough? This is where I was in my thoughts for the past two years. I had come to the point where I no longer wanted to get excited about the possibilities of change with a new birth year when I had been previously disappointed.
The strangest thing happened to me the morning of the start of this new year. I woke up and had a huge cry.It was a cry that came from the depths of my spirit and had been living in the bottom of my gut.It was a purging type of cry. I realized in that moment, that I had made it. My birthday was to be celebrated because I did not surrender. During the course of the 365 days, I just wanted to give up, quit, and
get out of the game all together, but I didn’t. I pushed through every second, minute, hour, day, week, and month when life threw me its best shot.I just kept moving despite my pain and lack of vision from the water in my eyes. I didn’t know what direction I was headed in at times, but I just kept moving.I still had my arms, legs, eyes, ears, nose, fingers, and toes. Above all my mind was in tack. I made it to
another birthdaywhole, unbroken.
When I finished crying there was a sense of peace that came over me. I knew that this year was the start of greater things to come. I knew because I finally understood my own strength and the power of my mind. I left the house ready to celebrate this new chapter I was getting ready to write in my book of life. I celebrated this woman of strength, humility, and value. To confirm what I believed to be true in my heart, my fortune cookie read, “While times may seem difficult, your future forecasts a quick turnaround.” There are no coincidences in life.That was for me and for you. Keep moving you will make it.
By guest blogger: Diana Bridgett
