I can do it all! I can be the caretaker, the confidant, the dedicated daughter, the best friend, wonderful girlfriend, excellent wife, magnificent cook, PTA Mommy, a passionate lover, the creative hostess, the authoritative executive, the top notch negotiator, counselor, encourager, motivator, peace maker, conflict resolution expert, fashionista, writer, a speaker, etc. Whatever is required of me, I can do. I am a woman. I can do it all…I think?
In the early years of my career, I so often heard the term work/life balance. I paid it absolutely no mind, because I always thought, who needs balance. My focus was being the best in my game and moving up the latter in record time. I will admit, I had the Kobe complex, I wanted to make major accomplishments all before the age of thirty. The blessing and the curse was that I did. Like many women, with an insatiable hunger for success and unbelievable drive, I lived a good portion of my twenties as if it were a to do list. Naturally, the dedication needed to succeed catapulted me to the top quickly, however, if you ask me how it felt when I finally reached my goal, I can’t tell you. Once I captured the thing that I was chasing, although it was in my hands, I had no idea what it was like to feel successful, because my eyes, heart, and mind, became fixated on another goal. My accomplishments were merely bullet points checked off on my list. For me and so many other women, there was no such thing as balance. Really…what is that?
It was not until just recently in my own life, that the issue of balance became a huge topic for me.I have had to question, what I am allowing to define me as a woman. Is my definition defined by what I do or who I am? So may say they are one in the same, however, there are many layers within me that I know I have yet to penetrate. Growing up in post era of the women’s movement of the sixties, I have always been told that my expectations of what I want my life to become was set by me alone. After all, I have seen in my lifetime an African American woman become a media mogul, a Latina become a Supreme Court Justice, two other women run for the candidacy position of Vice President and President, and countless others who have redefined their role in their particular fields. Why wouldn’t I have this drive to be the best when I have so many who have come before me, telling me that I am the best? What I have realized is that I have achieved greatness, but at what cost and what more am I willing to sacrifice to be this great WOMAN.
In reading Tom Brokaw’s book BOOM, there was a quote from Jane Pauley, that stated, “You can have it all, you just can’t have it at the same time.” This caught my attention, due to the fact that for so long, I believed that I could have my cake and eat it to. The problem with that idea made me think; was the cake I so anxiously wanted completely cooked enough for me to enjoy? This is the question that I ask not only myself, but also other women. Are we allowing ourselves to enjoy the process of life or are we eating to quickly that we do not savor the taste of life? What are we using as a scale to define our role in our own lives? This can be a struggle of a task. However, in my struggle, I realize that the beauty of it all is that I choose who I become and whatever I become, will not take away from the greatness of being a woman. I understand that being a woman means that I have the ability to adapt, create, restructure, grow, and mature into the beautiful definition of my life. We as women don’t have to pick and choose. We can just be. When I realized this, I decided that although Ms. Jane Pauley’s quote was thought provoking, I didn’t deem it to be correct. We can have it all at the same time. We really can. What we all truly desire is happiness.
Happiness is where our heart is at peace. Happiness is our all. No matter what stage in our lives we are in, we can handle the demands of being a woman and fulfill our deepest desires at the same time!
Guest Blogger: By: Diana Bridgett
