Sometimes, it’s necessary that we play therapist to our friends. So one likes to see their friends unhappy , so when they have problems, we want to help them get to a solution. We rely on each other for strength and support, which is why we sometimes need a really great listening ear to help us sort through our problems. When your friends come to you with their problems, it’s easy to interject or offer advice, but that’s oftentimes not they’re looking for. So how do we do it? How do we help them sort through their problems? We listen. Here are some tips to help you deal with a friend that needs to vent.
Let Them Cry If They Need To- When we see someone crying our first reaction is usually to say‘don’t cry,’ in the most sympathetic voice we can muster. I know it’s hard to see your friend unhappy, but you need to let her sort through her feelings and if she needs to cry, you let her cry. The worst thing that we can do is suppress our feelings so let your friend let hers out.
Let Them Talk For A Moment- Remember this isn’t about you. Even though you want to interject or offer something to say, mostly what your friend needs is a sympathetic and listening ear. So stay quiet for a bit and listen closely.
Don’t Offer Advice- Especially don’t offer advice or thoughts when they aren’t asking for them. Your friend just wants a listening ear. If they ask you for you thoughts then give it to them, but if they’re talking about their feelings, they don’t want to hear how they’re feeling something wrong.
Here’s What You Can Tell Them- Once there’s a break in the conversation, ask “what else?” or “keep going.” When we vent to our friends we don’t want to feel as though we’re burdening them with our problems, so it’s nice to hear someone tell you that they want to make sure they hear out all your feelings.
