Relationships aren’t all rainbows and unicorns. Long-term relationships require love, commitment, effort, and good communication both ways to flourish.
A classic close to many love stories is to say ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ when in reality, what the person breaking things off usually wants to say is the opposite. Sometimes it’s not them; it’s you. Sometimes it’s not that you, or they, are necessarily doing anything ‘wrong’ – it may just be that your energies, values, beliefs or interests fail to connect on the same level.
Dating 101: 6 Signs It’s Not Them, It’s You!
#1. You don’t listen.
If you find yourself showing little interest when they talk to you, your partner will pick up on that energy and feel rejected. The same if you intentionally ignore their messages or phone calls.
#2. You’re always looking for someone ‘better.’
With the rise of dating apps brings a larger dating pool of potential love candidates. Knowing 100 more options are just a thumb swipe away is leading to an epidemic of dissatisfied modern daters. Without realizing it, you could be causing them to feel like you don’t think they’re good enough for you. If you’re not into them after a few dates, it’s kinder to let it go than give them false hope.
#3. The relationship is one-sided.
If they are always making an effort to see you and put a smile on your face but you do nothing to reciprocate their efforts, your partner will likely start feeling rejected and unappreciated over time.
#4. You don’t include them in your goals.
If you frequently act upon life-changing decisions without your partner, you may be making them feel pushed away and not part of your life.
#5. You speak negatively to your partner.
If you find yourself always talking negatively to your partner and focusing on their flaws, that can be draining for anyone over time. If you don’t have anything positive to say about them, that’s a problem.
#6. You play games.
Purposefully playing games is a form of manipulation and can backfire and get people hurt.
