Building a career, maintaining a marriage and having a family all at once can be pretty tough. It’s a balance game that doesn’t come easy and requires some significant dedication to all of these things. Being in a marriage or romantic partnership can become especially challenging during times of career growth or family development – and, figuring out how to make it all work….a challenge in itself. The one thing I’ve learned over the years is that making it work comes down to two things: (1) unconditional love and (2) maintaining an equal partnership. Let’s take a closer look.
Equal Partnerships: Carrying the Weight of Responsibility in a Marriage
Recognition of one another’s dreams, passions and goals is absolutely essential. Many of us are working on building successful careers. And, the commitment to developing a career often comes in waves. You have times when you’re riding that wave all the way to shore. You’re in a routine, you know what you’re tasked with and you’re getting done. But other parts of career development mean working harder, longer hours. Struggling with setbacks and learning how to navigate those next steps. Sometimes when you’re struggling to get your career to the next level – your marriage takes a bit of a hit. You’re stressed and emotionally unavailable, you’re a mom on top of it all and maintaining the household also has to be a priority. That’s when equality comes into play – and it’s often time to step up and take on some of the responsibilities your spouse would normally tackle.
Communication is key. When it comes time to share the load, we often leave our spouse in the dark, expecting him or her to step up to the plate and take on more….but they don’t and we get frustrated. Here’s the thing: what they don’t know, they don’t know. So, sometimes you have to tell them. When the burdens of work start to become incredibly demanding, it’s important to have a conversation with your spouse to let him or her know exactly what you need and where you need help. An equal partnership is only achieved when both parties know exactly how they need to step their game.
Carve out time each day for one another. That sounds simple, but honestly is one of the most difficult things to achieve when the demands of a career or family become intense. No matter what, you have to remember – you only live once. You will not get this time back with the ones you love and nothing is as important as that. Having a successful career is merely the icing on the cake of a great life, but priority is making sure you spend quality time with the love(s) of your life. So, not matter what – make time each day to talk about your day, the peaks, the valleys and everything in between. Even if it’s just five minutes – or on the phone – five minutes of undivided attention goes a long way.
Never stop loving. Things are going to get frustrating along the way. The whole idea of an equal partnership is going to fall off course every once in a while and you’re going to have to bring it back. But the bottom line: love is what brought you to this place together and maintaining that love even throughout the highs and the lows is essential to finding that place of equality.
