For anyone who is raising a daughter, you know it’s a tough, tough world out there. And, as parents it’s our job to protect, but it’s also our job to let go when it’s time. Raising a strong and independent daughter who has the confidence and the independent spirit to head out into the world means instilling life lessons that start at the very beginning. From having compassion and love, to learning how to share and live a life with grace, to having the confidence and entrepreneurial spirit to make her own way – life throws a lot of curve balls – and rolling with those is the name of the game. Every parent learns as they go – it’s part of the job – but here’s a few tips that I have learned along the way while raising my own daughter, Amber.
Help build confidence by giving praise when it’s warranted. Praise should come when something good happens – whether that’s when she’s learned to tie her own shoes to graduating from college. From the smallest successes to the largest ones, I have always given Amber the reassurance to know that she’s done a great job and the praise is totally deserved. I have learned over the years to be very specific with that praise – and tie it to a certain success. As she’s grown to become her own independent successful woman (and a mom herself!), she’s passed that same spirit of praise along to the people she works with and her own children – it’s a beautiful cycle.
Encourage her to be assertive as she makes her way through the world. I have always believed that it’s important to give amber the tools she needs to be assertive, but in a way that’s still polite and professional. Assertiveness means going after what you want, standing up for what you believe and not being afraid to stand up for yourself. And, as women in a fast-paced society, knowing how to exercise assertiveness is essential when it comes to driving your career and making a place for yourself in the world. My daughter has been assertive since a young age, and it shows in her own personal and entrepreneurial success. She knows what she wants and how to get it, but still makes friends and teammates along the way.
Let her understand that it’s OK to fail once in a while – it happens to everyone and it’s part of life. We can’t all be superstars at everything and there’s nothing wrong with that. I have always let Amber figure out on her own that figuring out what you like often takes a couple of tries – how else will you know?
This is love ❤️ ……. cred @maxwell @duanemclaughlin #babyayva #doradobeach
A photo posted by Mrs. McLaughlin <3 (@amberridinger) on
Help her to have a healthy body image starting from a very young age. Our society is so full of pressures for women to have a particular body type or look a certain way. Starting from the beginning, I wanted Amber to know that she’s beautiful no matter what the rest of the world looks like. From glossy magazines to the web, comparing yourself to everyone else out there isn’t always reality – so reminding our daughters just how gorgeous they are is incredibly important. This one is simple: remember to tell her how beautiful she looks no matter if she’s in her pajamas or if she’s all dressed up – and, be specific. “Your eyes are sparkling today!” or “Your smile is stunning this morning!” – let her know you notice every special detail that makes her unique.
Encourage her to build a network of female friends. That network will quickly become her go-to group and often times can lead to lifelong friendships. It’s also an essential life lesson to learn how to work with and get along with other women – building allies rather than enemies. Host play dates and outings for groups of her girlfriends to start that process of creating camaraderie from the beginning rather than trying to learn that type of interaction later in life.
Shower her in unconditional love. No matter what, at the end of the day – love is all that matters. I love my daughter more than I have words to describe and I am so proud of the independent and wonderful woman she has become. I believe whole heartedly that our relationship and her beautiful spirit comes from giving her complete and total unconditional love – no matter the circumstances. You’re always going to have those challenging times when you’re raising a daughter – you’ll be disappointed, you’ll be overcome with emotion, but above all – never stop showing your love.
Are you raising a daughter? What lessons have you learned along the way?
