Life never prepares for those life-changing moments our phone rings to hear the awful news a loved one has passed away. Unfortunately, the first couple of months of the new year seem to be the most prevalent for such phone calls, leaving us wondering how we’re supposed to let go of a loved one when they die – especially one who’s been a significant presence throughout our entire lives.
My mother sadly passed away from a heart attack at the very young age of 42 years old. I wish she were here to see the fantastic woman Amber has become and watch Amber and Duane’s fabulous, beautiful and charismatic children grow up – I know she would be incredibly proud!
How to Let Go of a Loved One When They Die
In the early days of dealing with grief, it seems like there are no words of comfort that will ever make you feel whole again. There isn’t a magic book or pill that will help you to let go emotionally, but here are a few steps to consider to help you through this challenging time.
#1 Embrace your feelings.
If you’ve recently lost a loved one, it’s important to remember it’s going to take time to let them go. You’ll go through all of the typical emotions of grief, fluctuating between anger, despair and laughing at the odd treasured memory or two. You’re healing journey has started; you’ll have good days and bad days, but it’s important to let those emotions out rather than bottle them up.
#2 Don’t isolate yourself.
Spend time with your loved ones; they are the best support system, and they likely need you now more than ever too. While you will need to take some time out for yourself to grieve, it’s important not to shut yourself away from the world. Isolation can lead to a very dark place.
#3 Put pen to paper.
If you have children who were also close to the recently passed loved one, why not spend an afternoon all writing letters to them together? Seeking some form of closure is essential for all ages in the grieving process. One of the most harmful aspects of grief is the whirling loop your brain can get stuck on remembering everything you said in your last conversation with them, and everything that you didn’t. Writing a letter to leave at your loved one’s gravestone (or send up into the skies attached to lanterns), is a constructive way to get all of those feelings and words out.
#4 Say goodbye.
If your loved one is being cremated, there are lots of artistic possibilities now for creating keepsakes from the ashes in addition to the traditional option of scattering their ashes at their favorite place. Did you know that now you can plant a tree in your garden with their ashes, have them brushed into a beautiful painting, or turn their ashes into jewelry? These are just a few of the modern alternatives available to help you say goodbye to your loved one while always keeping them with you.
