Have you ever looked back at all the friendships you’ve had over the years and wondered what’s happened to the people you lost touch with and why you ever lost touch? Or have you had friendships that ended pretty abruptly and you’ve always wondered what you could have done to change that? Friendships are just like any other relationship in that things can get pretty intense sometimes – and they take work! You can get close to a point where it seems no comments, questions or conversations are off limits, but then suddenly they are – and you’re left wondering how to fix what was just damaged. No matter what, you have to put the same care into a friendship as you would a romantic relationship if it’s something you want to stand the test of time.If you want to make sure your friendships lasts a lifetime, watch out for these five friendship killers.
Relationship Talk: 5 Friendship Killers
1 – Telling secrets. Talk about the ultimate breach of trust. Your girlfriends are the ones you tell your deepest secrets to – and keeping that info close to your heart is essential. When you’re trusted with a secret – that’s just the thing – you’re being trusted. And, it’s a friend responsibility to keep that trust on a pedestal by living up to its incredible reputation. Bottom line: don’t spill secrets.
2 – Stealing one another’s partner, husband, boyfriend – just doesn’t go over well. There’s been so many stories (and movies!) about this kind of thing happening, but trust me – swooping in and making moves on your bestie’s romantic pursuits – just not a good idea if the friendship is one you want to last. Bottom line: respect boundaries.
3 – When the friendship becomes a competition. This is the worst, isn’t it. Your best buds with a group of gals, but somewhere within the mix, a little competition begins to form between two of the ladies. No matter what it’s about – a guy, clothes, career – doesn’t matter, it just doesn’t feel good. Your friendships should be a place of solace and support, not another rat race. Bottom line: avoid competing in the name of your friends.
4 – When you feel bad about yourself any time you’re with that friend. Friendships should be fun – that’s an absolute. And, if you’re in one where you find that you feel badly about yourself when you’re hanging out – probably time to move on or bring the issue up for discussion. Your friends are your most trusted advisories, a support group you can always turn to for laughs and help with decision making. When that starts to go south, it’s time to evaluate. Bottom line: stick with the friendships that bring you happiness.
5 – You never make time for one another. It’s just like a romantic relationship in the sense that a friendship has to be nurtured – and that means connecting, regularly on some level. Now, you might live too far away to see on another all the time, but you can make a standing phone date, make Facetime a ritual or get on Facebook and chat away. No matter what, you have to stay in touch or inevitably, you’ll drift apart.
What are some of your friendship deal-breakers?
