Insecurity is exactly what it says on the box – uncertainty or anxiety about oneself and a lack of confidence. We all remember those teenage years where we often felt those frequent moments of insecurity that we may not be good enough, pretty enough, intelligent enough or cool enough.
For some, those feelings of insecurity never really go away. Insecurity can be a relentless catastrophic beast that sabotages everything wonderful in its path if you let it off its leash.
Don’t get me wrong, we all have days where we lack confidence. Does this new outfit actually look good on me? Does this new haircut really suit me? Am I qualified enough for the job they’re interviewing me for today? What if the audience doesn’t like my performance? The mind can be a vicious beast that can only be slain with good positive vibes, so here are ten brilliant ways to kill insecurity.
‘Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.’ – Demi Lovato
Start changing your mindset.
The mind can be our own worst enemy. Fearing mistakes and failure is one of the biggest culprits of procrastination, whether that be in looking for love, a new job or seeking to achieve any of your life goals. Start reading a reputable self-help book that can help you spirituality learn and grow on the laws of confidence and add an affirmation to your morning routine.
I have a friend whose daughter recites one about being beautiful, clever and strong every morning and watching her little girl repeat those words is nothing short of inspiring.
Search for positive affirmations online or create your own that deeply resonates with you like ‘’Challenges are opportunities to grow and improve.’’
Always be prepared.
One of the biggest causes of insecurity is not feeling prepared. Whether it’s a job interview, business pitch or big date you’re feeling insecure about, prepare for it. Research the job role you’re interviewing for, and write notes linking each area to your work experience. If you’re pitching to investors or sponsors for your business, go over your business plan and connect it with the brand values of those you’re pitching to. If it’s an important date, try on a few different outfits in advance to find the perfect look you feel fabulous in. Whatever the occasion, give yourself plenty of time to get ready so that you feel calm and prepared.
Kill those negative thoughts.
Your self-talk can make you or break you, so always be mindful how you speak to yourself. Imagine every insecurity and negative thought about yourself you catch creeping into your mind is a disgusting bug. Catch it, stomp on it and kill it. Kill it dead.
Replace that thought with a positive one. Negative thoughts about yourself can be detrimental to relationships. You have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love anything or anyone else.
Until I learned to love myself, I was never ever lovin’ anybody else – Madonna
Know yourself.
After all, you can’t go into battle without knowing your enemy. And our mind can be our own worst enemy. List all of the positive things about yourself and what you’re good at. Then list things you don’t like or don’t feel like you’re good enough at. Are those things you can take a course in, or read up about to grow confidence in these areas?
Positivity is everything.
Whether you’re talking to yourself mentally or talking to friends, co-workers, employees or loved ones, be mindful to ensure everything you say is positive and never dwell on any feelings of insecurity. The more positive energy we put out into the universe, the more we get back.
Presentation is life.
Visualize walking into slay whatever enemy your movie heroine did heroically, and walk their same fierce way. Posture and speaking articulately and slowly are two fierce confidence behaviors we sub-consciously look out for in the animal kingdom.
Be a goal-setter.
Setting goals and achieving them, are a really vital tool in building confidence and happiness. It doesn’t matter how small the goal seems, it all counts. Once you’ve mastered a few, you’ll be entirely ready to move onto the big life-changers.
There is always a solution.
No one likes the person who finds a problem with every solution. Life and business are a never-ending journey of obstacles, so you have to be prepared to adapt and find solutions. Pull on your solution-solving pants and start finding a solution for every negative thought and insecurity.
Thoughts like ‘I can’t wear that, I don’t have the figure’ should start triggering the solution slayer response, ‘how can I solve that?’ The solution? Hello, diet and gym membership!’
Knowledge is power.
Read up on EVERYTHING! Whether you’re feeling anxious about starting a business, a new job because you’re not confident in a particular area, or you need to learn how to train your mind and change your thought patterns – the power is in the books.
Procrastinate no more.
Achieve something you’ve been procrastinating on either for ages or just today. Don’t tell yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, do it now. The power of now is incredible and you will feel unstoppable once you start ticking things off your short and long-term to-do lists.
Be confident in your own skin.
I hugely dislike the below quote – I came across it online and it got me thinking about how ridiculous it sounds, but that it’s also quite true – especially for the more insecure women who genuinely do rely on how men behave towards them to dictate whether they feel beautiful or not.
Why should the way we think about ourselves be dependent on any man? If you don’t love yourself, no one else will. You have to slay that insecurity beast and love yourself first – know that you are beautiful regardlessly because there is only one you on this planet. If any man comes along and makes you feel anything less than beautiful via his actions or words towards you, you need to cut them out of your life immediately because you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
‘No girl believes she’s beautiful until a guy comes along and makes her feel like she is.’ – Anon
Further reading:
8 ways to build your confidence as a leader
Affirmations to boost your confidence
How to get your confidence back
