There’s no one out there who wants to have to break up with a friend. Best friends, childhood friends, acquaintances, work buddies, friends from the gym – you name it – they bring a huge amount of joy to our lives. They are the support system that keeps you afloat during times of crisis and are there when you’re at your best. Friends are happy for you, sad for you and ready to give you their honest opinion at a moment’s notice, even if you don’t want it! So how do you deal with a friendship that’s hit a sour note, just isn’t fulfilling or is bringing you more strife than joy? Do you end the friendship? Do you keep trucking along, hoping for a change? This is a tough one, so let’s break it down. Breaking up with a friend: when to do it and how.
Breaking Up With a Friend: When to Do It, Why, and How
1. First of all, no one is the perfect friend. We can’t all be there for one another 100% of the time – sometimes friends can disappoint you, but it’s important to think about what they might have going on in life too. The thing is, imperfection is OK – it’s exactly what makes us all unique and interesting people. Before you react to a friend who has disappointed you, stop and assess yourself. How have you acted in this situation? Were you the perfect friend? Most likely this feeling of disappointment isn’t a one-sided street and you may need to take some responsibility too.
BreakUp: No
Solution: Talk it out and work it out. Give each other some slack.
2. You may be experiencing a toxic friendship that includes drama and hurtful actions on behalf of one or both of you. When a friendship stops being fun and starts to bring stress and anxiety to your life, it’s time to assess the situation. Do you find yourself arguing frequently, crying more than laughing or simply dreading your interactions with that friend? Unfortunately, it may be time to walk away.
BreakUp: Yes. Move on from friendships that bring anxiety to your life rather than the support system and laughter that real friendships are made of. Be truthful, but kind with that person – let him or her know that the friendship is bringing you down and you are ending it.
3. Time and experience changes everyone. Even with your closest childhood friends – the ones you grew up with, side-by-side throughout childhood and teenage years – things are going to change. People grow up, get married, have families, experience times of joy and sorrow – it changes their perspective and often changes their whole approach to life. The thing is – you’ve probably changed too. Sometimes when people change, it can be tough to navigate a friendship. You may not have piles of fun together or you’re unsure how to interact. Sometimes you have to sit down and talk it out.
BreakUp: This could go either way. Some friendships are ones we hold onto for life, just because. And, that is totally OK. But, perhaps it’s time to amicably agree that you need to go your separate ways. It may be a bit sad, but it’s also OK to realize it’s time to move on.
Have you ever had to break up with a friend? How did it go? Why did you decide to end the friendship?
