Guest Blogger: Tamisha Ford | tamishaford.com
Have you ever had one of those relationships where it constantly feels like it’s difficult to even talk to the person? Or have you ever felt like, for some reason, people avoid returning your calls or talking to you for very long? This is something common, but I don’t think a lot of people talk about it. One of the main reasons people may be avoiding your conversations or you feel you want to avoid someone else is a breakdown in how you’re relating & expressing with each other. Often, it’s just a miscommunication or lack of knowledge about how to actually have a good, quality conversation with another person. Some people didn’t grow up being taught how quality conversation works or what’s respectful.
To keep things positive (and because honestly, none of us are perfect), here’s some things to keep in mind when you’re talking with anyone in the future, and a big plus is that these tips work for business deals, personal calls, or in-person.
3 Ways To Attract More Quality Conversations Into Your Life
Active Listening
This means when the other person’s talking, you’re fully present. You’re not already crafting your response or thinking about how good your lunch was. Do your best to keep your focus and really intently listen to that person. Every conversation is an opportunity, and they are a human being who deserves your respect in that moment. We’ll never do this perfectly, but awareness makes all the difference.
Practice Pause
Don’t talk and talk and talk and talk with no pause. It’s hard for some people to listen to too much, then try to remember what to respond to and how. If you’re conversing with someone, make your point then give pause to allow them to respond and to give their feedback or share additional thoughts. Then, if you have more to say, you can continue this cycle. This allows both people to self-express freely and feel reciprocated.
Say “Thank You”
I’m constantly hearing people dumb down their experience, accolades, accomplishments or successes when someone gives them a compliment by responding with things like “well…I’m sure someone else could’ve done it better” or “I just threw something on – it’s nothing special.” This immediately undermines your respect factor. When someone pays you a compliment in a conversation, simply say “thank you” and receive it. The more you open yourself to receive in conversation, the more you’ll feel yourself wanting to give as well.
