Guest Blogger: Joan Atrium
It had been over a year since we were all under the same roof. As we sat around the kitchen table eating pizza, I looked around at their faces in a euphoric state of mind. It was euphoric because we were together again, saddening because we gathered together to face the loss of a loved one.
Death is an experience that brings forth perspective. When you lose, you realize what you had and that what you had, is now gone forever. Moving forward is the most challenging obstacle we face. The feeling of pressure on our hearts induces a pain beyond description. Death comes in all forms exposing the sub-conscience truth and the truth hurts.
A few years back, I was introduced to a group of people that changed me forever. We shared a musical momentum beyond any of our understanding. Everybody around us felt the blind faith we circulated for each other’s future. Though conducting a powerfully memorable run together, electrifying momentum soon became an illusion of our youth. And one day, like all energy with a pulse, the music died too.
A perspective that comes to my mind, when I think extinction, is my own self worth. Am I being all that I can be? If I died tomorrow would I be satisfied? Emotions like anger, resentment, & guilt come over us like the devil in disguise. Memories become the only connection we have to what we once held so close to our hearts. It is at times of loss we realize, being grateful is truly being all you can be. A defining thought we must always remember to remember.
Spring is a consistently pleasant reminder of the circle we call life. The atmosphere once bitter and grey suddenly becomes sunny & colorful. Just how we remembered it. And then, when you least expect it, the music plays again. After pizza, we went into the yard for cigars. We laughed in a way that was pleasantly familiar, exchanging adventures from the past and plans for our future. We stood together in a circle and embraced making the decision that grief would not hold us down. Then I realized our sub-conscience truth: There is no death where there is love.
And does it hurt? … Truthfully, it’s Bitter Sweet.
Beyond,
@JoanAtUranium
