Guest Blogger: Amber Baker
As soon as I was old enough to notice, I realized I was the victim of being raised by two people who were only together “for the kids.” I watched both of my parents for 25 years faithfully (no pun intended) do their part, sometimes viciously, other times unintentionally, to aid the deterioration of their holy and sacred union and I promised myself that would never be me.
I am 25 years old and I still gleam when I see that raggedy, old pumpkin magically turn into a beautiful carriage. Her gorgeous gown, I’m convinced, is the reason blue is my favorite color to this day! Maybe it’s the way young girls are wired, or maybe I’m just a sucker for fairytale romance and happy endings—particularly, the “happily ever after” ending.
Now that I’m old enough to realize that “happily ever after” doesn’t just happen by itself, I realized Cinderella really left all of us girls hangin’ on how to get (and keep) what she has! Friendship is the foundation for a lifelong fairytale romance. “My marriage may not be perfect, but my husband is the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never laughed and cried so hard with the same person in my life. If you can’t share your every emotion, feeling, heartache, and struggle with your partner, you do not have the friendship that you should. As the years progress, you will have an unbreakable bond. Don’t only love your prince at the ball. It’s easy to love your man when he’s successful, looking his best, on top of the world, and giving you your way—but do you love him when he struggles? Are you there for him when finances are strained? How about when he’s done you wrong, do you forgive him? Don’t be the woman who quits on her man when times are tough. Remember, the only difference between a couple that stayed married and a couple that divorced, is one made the decision not to quit.
Once it’s midnight, the rest is up to you. A relationship between a man and woman is not a magical transformation from a pumpkin and mice to a horse and carriage—it takes work. Remember that when the glitz and glamour fades, as it does in every relationship at some point, it’s time to put your work boots on. Make an effort to enjoy your mate’s hobbies and compromise things you enjoy or want to do for his or her plans. Be kind and thoughtful even when you don’t feel like it.
If he’s still on the search to return your glass slipper, he’s a keeper. If your spouse does everything but repulse you, yet he loves you (and shows it!), your children, and he provides for your family, keep him! If he has hurt you and done damage to your relationship that seems irreparable but spends everyday trying to make it up to you and show you he wants to make it right, don’t give up on him. Realize that you have a good thing! When two people with hurts and heartbreak still love each other and want to do anything but give up, understand that what you have is a blessing and your relationship can and will be transformed if you just do your part.
..and they lived happily ever after.
Follow Amber on Twittter @amberbaker143
