I love that 2018 is all about self-love; it’s a critical ingredient for a happy life. Everyone’s telling us how vital self-love is, but few tell us how to actually achieve this holy grail of happiness. Self-love requires bonding with yourself and starting a self-healing method that teaches you, step by step, how to achieve self-love. Like with all relationships, self-love is something we all have to work on continuously.
How to Achieve Self-Love
#1. Learn your feelings.
Everything we feel is educational. Our feelings communicate whether we love ourselves, or abandon ourselves. Understanding our feelings allows our senses to tell us if the people around us are loving, or controlling.
Relax and take a few moments to breathe in and out, eyes closed slowly. Embrace your feelings. Move toward them rather than run away from them, which can result in various methods of self-abandonment including negative self-talk and self-destructive behaviors such as excessive drinking or drug taking.
#2. Time to learn.
There are two intentions in any situation or moment. The first intention is to protect against pain and avoid responsibility for said pain via various types of addictive and harmful behaviors. The second is to learn and understand what you are doing or thinking that may be contributing to your pain. Perhaps your pain is due to circumstances between you and your partner, a friend, or a relative? This intention motivates you to understand your pain so that you can take loving action.
#3. Learn about your fears.
This step involves exploring your beliefs and behavior, in addition to understanding what is happening with another person or circumstances that may be causing your distress.
Relax, get comfortable, and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself “What am I thinking or doing that’s causing me to feel anxious, depressed, guilty, angry, or lonely?” Allow your inner self to answer.
Once you understand the cause of your pain, you can explore the fears that are leading you to self-abandoning thoughts and behaviors.
#4. Open your heart.
Open your heart to learning to love yourself. Find guided YouTube videos from reputable experts that can guide you through self-love meditations. Commit to practicing these daily for a minimum of two weeks.
#5. Take loving action.
Now that you understand your pain ask yourself what you can do to love yourself. The answers will vary from person to person, but typical responses include seeking professional help for addiction or depression or avoiding dating emotionally unavailable people.
#6. Evaluation.
Once you’ve commenced the loving action phase, check in with your feelings to see if your pain and anger are healing. If you don’t feel increased love towards yourself since when you started, start the whole process again from step one.
More often than not, you will feel happier and a greater sense of self-love when you evaluate your feelings. You will discover that genuinely loving yourself starts improving all aspects of your life including your relationships, your health, and your ability to proactively achieve your life goals.
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